Except from book: Hardwired for Purpose: Blazing Trails to Follow God’s Lead from a Creative’s Perspective by Jana Rawling
My purpose was illusive. I was busy doing things that fulfilled a part of me, but I knew something was missing. I was searching for the missing pieces to the puzzle of my life, because I was coming closer to God and felt there had to be more. I had lived a turbulent past and as I watched the people at my church get involved in ministry I got hungrier. At this point in time I had no clue what having a personal relationship with Jesus was.
I said the sinner’s prayer many years before, but I didn’t understand that God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit wanted close relationship with me. I couldn’t wrap my head around actually connecting with Them on an intimate level. At the time, I didn’t think They would want to be close with me. I was a mess and had lived messy, so why would the God of everything care that much about me? I was sure He was too busy with more deserving people and bigger issues of the world.
I wanted to know my purpose. I was tired with my career and I wasn’t sure of what to do next. I hoped I would wake-up one day and have it all figured out. I thought if I just knew, I could jump right in and things would go better for my life from that point forward. I wanted to change my circumstances and felt deep down it was possible. I needed to get serious with God.
“For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world that He might condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. Anyone who believes in Him is not condemned, but anyone who does not believe is already condemned, because he has not believed in the name of the One and Only Son of God.” — John 3:16–18
I learned so much from that hike , and I learned more over the next several years as I replayed the encounter with Holy Spirit and my imagination. I needed those years to receive the bigger message. I’m still learning from that day. I had to heal and mature as a child of God before completing this book, and I will probably add to it one day in the future. ♥